Wednesday was the worst day I have had for ages with the boys. It started out ok and went down hill very fast!
Master 5 (both the boys have had a birthday since being home from our holidays so I now have a 1 and 5 year old wrestling and fighting) woke up in a very bad mood due to a late night, his mood deteriorated very quickly, he was a little sulky whilst at home but because Grandma was here to play with he wasn’t as bad as I knew he could be.
We went off to playgroup without a hitch, except for once again being late, no matter what I do I still manage to be late. He played lovely with the other kids had his morning tea and was in the sandpit when I told him we needed to get going as we had a lot to do for the day. There wasn’t to much of a tantrum but enough to make my blood start to boil, then he decided he wasnt going to put his shoes on so 10minutes later we eventually were leaving.
First stop was Bunnings where as we were looking through gardening department I told master 5 he could play on the park if he liked while Grandma and I looked around and Master 1 sat happily in the trolley waving to all the other customers. Not even 5 minutes of walking around the shop and there is a page over the PA system for the parent of the little boy in the park please come and collect him as he NEEDS you! The rest of this visit was painful but bearable but then we were onto the next lot of shops for some Christmas shopping.
However, the first stop was the coffee shop I thought a babycino and a cookie was the answer to calming him for another hour. However, his indecisiveness just managed to make me very frustrated. Once that supposed calming experience was done it was time to move on.
I needed some new clothes for the boys and decided as there was a massive sale on I would laybye them now for Christmas, he founded a new friend, a chequered bouncy ball that all of a sudden he was inseparable from. When I told him he could not have it he tried to pocket it, after having taken it from him again and putting it up high on a fixture a massive tantrum erupted, the lack of sleep was now definitely catching up on him.
I know, that as he was tired it was unfair on him to be out doing things he didn’t want to but it is so rare that I get a chance to get to the shops and also have someone there to help me that I was trying to make the most of it. So yes it was self-inflicted and the eventual outcome was inevitable but I couldn’t see that at the time.
I know that rewarding bad behaviour is not the way to go, but I felt guilty at making him do things his disliked so much on not enough sleep so i decided last stop was the toy section of the large department store. I told him, more like warned him before we went in that he should not ask for anything it is nearly Christmas and the only money I have is for presents not for anything prior.
After letting him browse for about 10minutes and having picked the present that I needed for my nieces 1st birthday it was time for a quick stop at the kids swimwear and then home. He sat down in the middle of the aisle and started crying and crying and crying. I told him I was going and that he should follow me, he didn’t I got to the swimwear and he still wasn’t with me then I heard it could the Grandmother of a little lost boy named Reagan please come and collect him from the laybye department.
Grandma looked at me and said she was not going to get him it was my turn! I was so angry that he had told them he was lost and not that he had a tantrum and I had left him and I was only two aisles away, but at the same time a sense of relief washed over me at least he had known what to do if he was lost, he was a very smart and independent and I was proud.
Although that feeling did last throughout the rest of the day the shopping trip still ended with me holding back to tears as I was so fed up with dealing with a tired boy whilst being tired and not being able to get him to understand what I wanted from him, or not doing what I wanted, but I guess that is his independence and that is something I have taught him.
I am proud of the boy he is becoming but I am still frustrated daily, another double ended sword of parenting!